Hi loves! I have been thinking about writing a lot but never get around to it so I promise I will work on it. But I thought since the holidays are here, I could write about the struggles I have with it. I hope you like this message!
Holidays are SO hard for a lot of people. For some people, its spending lots of money and trying to please everyone. And for others, it's hard for them mentally. I have always loved the holidays, Christmas especially. It is such a joyous and magical time of the year, but it has gotten harder and harder for me each year. Food has always been something I struggle with since high school, and college made it even worse. The holidays are hard too because of all the sweets, foods, drinks, etc. It can add up really quickly and for me it is so hard.
Even if I eat healthy and workout, I still have really bad body dysmorphia and it gets worse around the holidays. If I eat a Christmas cookie or even a small chocolate I feel like I gained 20 pounds. For me when I used to calorie count I was able to realistically understand how one piece of chocolate is not gonna make you gain weight but ever since I stopped it has made my mental health better but made my relationship with food more confusing. I feel so much bigger during the holidays even if I don't eat anything different. Like if I eat a plain salad for lunch I just feel so much bigger than I would any other time and I could not tell you why. I don't eat that much different during the holidays but for some reason it drives me insane. The reason why I'm talking about my problem is because I feel like it's so much more common than we realize.
The holidays are so hard because of all the sweets and such but it makes me feel so much bigger during the holidays even if I don't eat anything different. Like if I eat a plain salad for lunch I just feel so much bigger than I would any other time and I could not tell you why. I don't eat that much different during the holidays but for some reason it drives me insane. The reason why I'm talking about my problem is because I feel like it's so much more common than we realize. T\. The holidays are so hard because of all the sweets and such but it takes a tiny mentally. such but it takes a toll on you mentally.
If you don't take away anything from this please just try to understand this last part. You are not gonna remember how many calories you ate on December 17, 2022 someday. You were gonna remember the memories you made and you don't want your memories to be you sitting out not enjoying the hot cocoa with your friends because you're too scared of the calories. I've been working really hard to order things that scare me calorie wise because my body deserves to eat the food that I want to eat, not the ones that look good for a number. So during this holiday season enjoy what you want and make memories because the last thing you want is to look back at it someday and realize how much fun you missed out on because you were too scared of a number.
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