Hi loves! I'm back! Sorry for being inactive for so long! I was so incredibly busy these past 2 weeks and get this, last week, got a concussion and went to the Er. Not so bad, I have had 3 head injuries before so I know how to handle it, it just sucks. THEN, get a super bad stomach virus at the same time. So day 3 of my concussion, I get super sick and then stay sick until yesterday. I was 24 hours fever free and my stomach was like 80% better but I wasn't contagious or anything anymore (I don't even know if I ever was). I tested for flu & covid but both were negative so we really do not know what it was. But BOY, not only was that awful physically, it was mentally so tough. Let me tell you why.
I am someone who loves working out. I have had a negative relationship with it my whole life with it up until recently. I used to work out to be skinny, to be better at lacrosse, or to try to impress other people by looking so fit. But my whole goal currently is to work out to look stronger and feel good because I always love the feeling of walking out of that gym. When I was sick, I was not able to even get out of bed let alone go work out. I barely ate because I couldn't and that made me feel really crappy because I felt like I was losing muscle and being unfair to my body. But there was nothing I could eat or do to make my body feel better besides rest. Also, when the only thing you can really do is stare at your ceiling because screens hurt your head, books, schoolwork, anything really kills your head, it makes you think. When you were alone with your thoughts for a week straight, nothing good comes out of that. But whenever I found myself starting to say negative things or think negative thoughts, I realized that my body and I did not deserve that at all.
One good thing that has been going on is my mindset in the gym and with food. My favorite thing to do is work out in the mornings and feel good for the rest of the day. It also helps me feel less guilty about food in general. I'm not saying work out so you could eat more, I'm just saying it was a bad habit I got into. Food made me feel so guilty. I'll beat myself up about what I eat but I have been doing so much better about that. Your body deserves fuel, it deserves love, and it deserves things that make you feel good. Ice cream makes me feel good, sweets make me feel good, pasta, bread, peanut butter, etc. All those things I get scared to do. For example, in the smoothie bowl that I get, I was too scared up until today to get Nutella and peanut butter on top. It's literally the smallest amount but to me that's the end of the world. I was so excited when I ordered it and didn't even care today. I've been eating stuff that makes me happier by staying active and healthy and it makes me feel so good. I have done so much better by not calorie counting, not checking my stomach in the mirror, and giving myself the love it deserves.
I've personally struggled with body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember. But the last couple days I've been looking at the mirror and seeing things I love. I used to think my legs didn't look strong enough but then I was like, danggg girl they look strong to hype myself up. Usually for me that never works but this time it stuck. I look at myself and my stomach because I haven't been looking much lately, which is amazing because I hate when I do it, and I've been talking to myself like I love myself. Talking to yourself like you're your best friend is the best thing you can do for your mindset and mental health because you are talking so highly to yourself. Hyping yourself up and complementing yourself ALOUD makes all the difference in the world because when you talk to yourself like you love yourself enough, you are going to believe it.
In conclusion, this is definitely 100% all of the place, per usual because that's how I write. I know that this blog is for not only myself but for everyone else reading. I really want you guys to try and just look in the mirror and say the things you like about yourself. It doesn't have to be about your body it could be about literally anything. Try it every morning and right before you go to bed and you will feel like a new person because you are treating your body with so much love.
1 Corinthians 11:1 1 Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.
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